So, after we talked on law of attraction last week I was determined to put it into practice, to live at a higher frequency and let the universe give back all that positive energy. Sounds so easy right? Well, like that guy with the charismatic accent you dated in your early twenties, a bad habit is almost painful to break. At least for me it has been. I woke up Friday and was ready to wizard some good things my way. Maybe I’d start small, bring a good parking spot my way and build towards that book deal that would get me into a car that doesn’t have a headlight I have to smack like the Fonz to turn on. Well, that was before my grumpy, sick teen ran out of cough drops and before work smacked me down harder than Misty May-Treanor’s volleyball spike. The idea of staying on a higher frequency sounds so easy, but friends, I found it so difficult. I found one of the biggest obstacles in the journey was toxic people. Now there is all kinds of advice to be had about how to move away from toxic people and which types exist and yes, apparently there are different types of toxicity. But unless you live a charmed life in a bubble where you can pick and choose exactly who you encounter throughout your day, completely ditching every single toxic person is near impossible. So, don’t hermit yourself away. Yes, an Amazon Prime membership can make this 100% possible and trust me I find it a tempting thought too, but in all honesty, we do need people. We just need to navigate them more efficiently and this is something Jennifer, Kimberly, and I have talked a great deal about over mugs of tea after a long week of doing just that (I get the benefit of having two incredibly wise big sisters). I humbly pass on to you some of my favorite takeaways from these chats over the years of experiences.
Set boundaries. This is obvious but just because that is the case doesn’t mean that it does not get overlooked when assessing a toxic relationship. In fact, in my experience this can be incredibly difficult in many relationships with toxic people, especially family. Know what triggers you and be honest with yourself about that toxic person and their limitations. You can distance yourself without taking yourself completely away in some situations, while others you might have to consider at least a timeout from that particular relationship.
Find a counter-balance. Surround yourself with others who are positive, who have an uplifting effect on you and sit with you on that higher frequency. In fact, I find people like this have more influence and a stronger effect on me than toxic people.
Protect yourself. Part of protecting yourself is listening to your inner thoughts and being sensitive to your own feelings as you give them the recognition they deserve. Sometimes we don’t even realize the negative effect people have on us because we are too invested with how they feel or what they need.
Pick your battles. THIS IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME. Like, really. And I am sure for most people it is, some of us can’t let it go and others really just end up in that doormat routine. Toxic people can feed off both, the drama or the power exerted over you. This is why knowing your boundaries is so important, it can take the opportunity for situations like this off the table completely.
Meditate. Sometimes, after a rather tedious interaction with toxic behavior, you just need to wash it away. We all have our ways. Jennifer likes to use Joy essential oil to reset. She rubs a dab over her heart and takes several deep breathes. She reminds herself that “We have the choice of joining someone at their lower vibration or moving forward at our higher vibration and watch who joins us there. We have a choice not to let every word affect our outcome for today and days to come. We have the choice to gain momentum towards everything we want and believe for ourselves.” SO TRUE!
Follow your bliss. This is key in the law of attraction. You can make it as profound or as simple as you’d like. I know that when I have hit that sweet spot and I am working at a higher frequency, the toxic voices around me are muted. You just don’t have time for them or their shenanigans, and honestly, nothing feels better than that.
As always, we would love to hear from you and any methods and wisdom you have earned over the years in dealing with toxic people. Find us on social media and share your wisdom!